11.30pm at my house.
It is the night before Alyson and I go to LA to record the audio book version of The King Who Came To Earth. I should be resting but I know that now is the time I must meditate so I do so for over an hour.
I figure I have chosen well with my Master and The Aetherius Society and stood fast for over 50 years, taking all the major opportunities presented to me and staying with them – I have stood fast. Made mistakes, absolutely, but through them all I have stood fast. So rightly or wrongly I think I should know God.
I’ve been proactive in making choices along the way and overall I got the major ones right. I was proactive about standing fast and though I did not always do it right, I did it very actively, so I stood fast. But I have not been proactive about knowing God.
I have fallen into the trap that I suspect others have too of thinking that it will happen naturally without any particular effort from me, but how could it? And how could I or anyone else handle it if it did?
Yes, I’ve done regular practices but I need to take it up another notch. Not for the sake of any particular power, nor bliss, nor even peace and not even to “become an adept”, purely and simply to know God. It may happen, I think it might, let’s find out.
Seated on my bed, legs in tailor position, pillows against my back, door closed, table lamp on, eyes closed, breathing. “Breathe – Restrain – Know”, I was told. So I follow that guideline, sometimes holding breath in, sometimes out, intermittent breaths between restraints, the lights and then the third eye seems to form, violet in colour as usual but a yellow surround. I think the three faces are imposed upon each other rather than next to each other, but I could be wrong about that – perhaps you only see the face you’re meant to see at any specific moment. Ringing in the ears building up. I could break down that sound, but I don’t want to be distracted from my purpose. I turn out the table lamp, darkness in the room, I close my eyes, darkness and then a small, dynamic pin prick of white light, as if to remind me and then gone. The third eye seems to form, but that’s not my purpose.
I have to still the mind, not repress the vrittis but let them subside into nothing.
And then it happened and, forgive me, I can’t be sure of the sequence of events, but these are some of them.
A mild pain at the base of the spine, very familiar that, not excruciating as the Master described but discernible, at most a discomfort. A movement of the sphincter muscles and an immediate reaction in my third eye, vision of greater clarity, a trance like feeling as the energies move upwards into the head. A slight resistance to this from my mind and the trance like state fades and then again several times.
I am aware of internal mental resistance. At one point a concern that I will lose my personality, my self, my being consumed in God, a fear, a slight panic causing the state to recede, and then back and at it.
A few things happened. Was it “high intuition” as referred to by Mars Sector 6 in the Fourth Freedom? I very clearly state the A-U-M as a thought, but not initiated by me or coming from my mind. Something in me repeated the Word, it wasn’t me, but it was ME. It wasn’t a message – I know that experience, it’s completely different. This was coming from inside of me, not from an outside source.
I am God, I am Brahma and a host of Sanskrit words including Mahavishnu, Atman, Krishna, Gurudeva. I was thinking them without any conscious intention to do so.
I am God. I am not one with God because even that thought is a suggestion of separation, a seed which needs to be fried as Patanjali might put it. It takes two to become one, I am singular, only one but what else am I?
Anything and everything.
At the same time a strong firm line of magnetic force which I attached to for that moment and I felt I could move kundalini with magnetic attraction upwards, up the back of the neck into the head and outwards. And then I let that go. I knew that God is all life so I am all life.
Lower astral entities who admired their leaders – some type of triumvirate who despised their followers – their lackeys except when they were useful to them.
And higher mental realm entities who now wish they’d been more active on the physical plane, less concerned with their own development, because then their karma would allow them to reincarnate and help actively at this dangerous time – a danger they were fully aware of, more even than we are.
And those in their long robes with arms outstretched they join in ritualistic movements joyously.
A mountain – firm, strong, feeling when boulders fall away, break away from it, feeling this loss, yet still strong, upright, purposeful.
And a hedgehog – scurrying along, feeling protected by its sharp coat, and yet a hint of fear about this.
Jungle animals – ruthless, but gaining experience, all entities being given the chance to gain the experience they need to go back to God.
I am the Law.
It wasn’t my mind, it came from another place. I didn’t think it, I knew it. Even a pebble on a path has a karmic pattern. All life going back to God through multifarious paths – I am the Law.
I know God because I am God.
A tiny step, not the massive stride experienced by Dr. George King and a handful of others. But a tiny step is still a step, and it can be followed by other steps, and gain momentum.
Yes, I know God. The path has led me here through the right Service, with sufficient prolonged effort, it has led me here. And this meditation has taken me over the threshold of knowing God. Just over the threshold, perhaps just one step over it, but over it. Beyond belief, beyond faith, I know, which means that you can too.
God is within you. God is within all life. You can realise your God potential.
That note was written on the plane journey after this experience. Dr. King was fully immersed, had a full immersion, transmuted all emotion into immersion in samadhi, but here I just dipped a toe into that ocean and knew God.
The inner voice was the still small voice of God, the voice of the silence, without character or timbre or accent or even limited to language.
Early on as I detached from me to become ME I felt a love for my body which I observed in an impersonal way but with this love, knowing that every sinew of it was God. And then more briefly a love for my mind and then on.
Another experience, which I omitted to include in the audio recording, took me to a bar in another country. A man spoke in defence of the community, I heard his words, I knew his feelings, I was him. A woman supported him and a small group of older people supported him as he definitely refused to be intimated by a gang of youths who had come into that bar. The leader of the youths was amused, he wasn’t going to retaliate, it wasn’t worth it, for that moment I was him too.
Also during the experience I saw the Master Jesus and felt his immeasurable love for humanity despite all their frailties and then humans were miniscule in size compared to this Master.
Yes, I can now state that I have dipped my toe in the ocean of samadhi.